If You Only Knew How Much
by MegaTripleHStephFan
Summary: After a bitter break up with his girlfriend Darcy, Paul is up a creek without a paddle. He is sad all the time & is wasting his life away. Stephanie, his best friend, comforts him & brings back the old Paul. But will she be able to hide her love for him any longer? Is what she thought all these years finally going to become true, that they were meant to be more than just friends?
1. If you only knew

**AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Why in the hell am I starting ANOTHER story!? I already have THREE! Well now FOUR! But, the sequel to no good deed goes unpunished hasn't been updated since June or July, so I guess that one doesn't count lol. But I actually wrote this like three months ago and never uploaded it, just want see where it goes :-)**

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><p>"Come on, you gotta get out of this sulk you're in" I said trying to pull the covers away from Paul.<p>

"Go away" he mumbled into the pillow. "I just want to lie in this bed until I rot"

I put my hands on my hip. "Well I'm not gonna let that happen." I said with one last tug to pull the covers completely off him.

"Heyyyyy!" He pouted as he tried to reach for them.

"You can't let her get you down like this Paul. I mean look at you, you're 23 years old with your whole life ahead of you. You're intelligent, handsome, and funny. You have more than enough attributes to attract another woman. Darcy is not the end of the world ya know."

He just looked up at me with the saddest eyes.

I sighed. "Paul" I said placing my hand to my head. "I'm not gonna let her ruin you. Then I have to deal with your slugger mood."

"I'm not that bad" he said softly

"Yes you are. In fact you're the worst! Look, you're sitting here going 'woe is me' when she is out there with some other guy having the time of her life. Seeing you like this would only empower her more. You can't let her have control."

"But she's the only woman I've ever loved."

_But what about me?_ I thought.

"Well, besides my mom, sister and you of course" he said with a smile when he got to my name.

_Much better, my heart can relax now._ I thought

"Promise me this" I said sitting down on the bed next to him.

"What?"

"You're not going to let this be the end of you, she's not going to take every ounce of dignity you have left. You're going to prove that you're a fighter and that you don't need her and she's the one that needs you"

He shrugged. "I guess I can promise that...but"

"No buts, and no guesses" I said placing my finger to his lips.

_Wow, they're really soft. Is it weird to say that I was jealous that my finger was the one touching his lips and not my own?_

"Ok" he said nodding. "I'll do it, just for you"

I smiled. "Thank you. See, that's the side I love about you. This big softie hiding under all this hard muscle and ego" I said touching his chest.

_God, he feels wonderful._

"You're a complete marshmallow" I continued.

He smiled softly. "I guess that's right"

"No. It is right" I said rubbing his shoulder.

If I was being honest, I was touching every single part of him that I could get my hands on. Yes, I'm taking advantage of him during a bad situation but I can't help it. This is the only chance I'll get seeing as any other time he would have questioned me or joked that I wanted him...which I do. But I'll never let him know that. Deep down, I'm more than excited about his break up with that bitch Darcy.

I'm his best friend, I've loved him for years, since we were little kids. There was a time where I thought he was going to ask me out when we were in college, but of course she had to come along and screw it up. She started to get in his head and tell him things that just weren't true, especially things about me. She didn't like the fact that our relationship was so strong, stronger than theirs actually. She got in his head for a while but he came to his senses and decided that I was going to be apart of his life whether she liked it or not. Needless to say she didn't like it, but she dealt with it.

"Hey you" he said rubbing my cheek, which instantly turned red "what's cha thinking about?"

"What do you mean?" I asked as I held my head down so he couldn't see me blush.

"You kinda spaced out on me" he said placing his hand to the small of my back. God what I would do to have this man.

"Sorry" I said looking up after the heat from my cheeks finally died down.

"Stephanie"

"Yes?"

"I love you"

"What?"

"I love you, and I want you. I need you" He said leaning in for a kiss

"I love you too, but.." I said before he cut me off and placed his fingers to my lips

"Shhh, I've been dying to do this for too long for it to be interrupted" he leaned in and I moaned immediately at the contact of our lips touching one another. He pushed me down gently and continued to kiss me as he got on top of me. I rubbed his massive back as I pulled him even closer.

"I love you so much" he said again

"Show me" I said in a husky tone

He stared me in the eyes as he started making kisses down my stomach and started to unbutton my pants. He slid off my panties no my eyes immediately rolled in the back of my head as he took his tongue and...

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><p>"Steph...Steph...Steph...AYE STEPH!" Paul said as he snapped his fingers and waved his hand in front of me.<p>

"Ah!" I gasped as I shook my head and snapped out of my daze

"You alright?" He said in a joking tone as he gently pushed me with his shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm fine" I said with a smile

"Heyyyy, this is all about me" he whined "I can't have you zoned out too" he pouted

"Oh shut up" I teased

"I'm glad I have you, I need you"

"I know" I teased with a smile

"No really Steph, I mean it, I don't know what I'd do without you, you mean the world to me." He said as he leaned in and laid his head on my shoulder. "You mean more than you'll ever know" he said as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

I smiled as I laid my head on top of his and entwined my fingers with the ones around my waist.

_I need you too Paul, so much. If you only knew...if you only knew how much._

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	2. What would I do without you?

**Sorry for late update, I've had so much going on since I started this story.**

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><p>"So, what's on the agenda for today?" I asked Paul as I finally got him to come out of his room.<p>

"Eat, sleep, lay in my bed and rot, repeat" he said as he got up and walked over to the sink to put his cereal bowl away.

_My god does he look good in those boxer briefs._ I thought to myself as I laid my chin in the palm of my hand. I'm no stranger to seeing Paul in his underwear, he's being walking around me in them since he was 13. But trust me, there's been a whole lot of changes since 13 to 23..._**a whole lot**_. There's definitely **more** to look at.

Shaking my head, and coming back into reality I said, "come on Paul, didn't we have a talk about this?" I said as I walked over and rubbed his back.

"Yeah" he said softly "it's just hard"

"No one said it was gonna be easy, but I'm here to at least take some of the pain away" I said with a smile.

"You take all the pain away" he said as he turned towards me and gave me a kiss on the cheek before walking into his bedroom to get dressed for work.

I held my hand up and touched the spot where he kissed me, I couldn't help but smile and blush at the same time.

_Why do you continue to torture me?_ I thought to myself.

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><p><em><span>Another day at the office.<span>_ I thought as I typed up a new press release for my boss. Don't get me wrong, I love my job, but I wanted more. I'm thankful because not many college students get the opportunity that I had to work in a huge business firm the moment they got out of college. But then again, considering who my boss was, I think I had it pretty easy.

"Here ya go Mr. Levesque" I said with a smile as I handed my boss the finished papers.

He smiled and patted my shoulder. "Stephanie, you know you're practically my daughter, I told you that you don't have to call me that at work"

"I know" I said shrugging "but it just feels weird calling you Poppa P without making the others feel like I have an advantage or something. I don't want them to be uncomfortable"

He laughed. "Fuck them" he said as he walked off

I laughed as I watched him enter his office and close the door.

"There's my **_favorite_** girl" I heard a voice say from behind, I immediately smiled but dropped it before I turned around in my chair.

"You're **late**" I said folding my arms across my chest and arching a brow

"I know, I know" Paul said placing the coffee down on his desk "But I got you something" he said handing me the other one.

"Coffee won't keep your butt saved for long" I said grabbing it and taking a sip.

"I know" he said sitting in his chair. "I saw you talking to Pop, is he mad at me?"

"Not that I know of, we were talking about the workers"

"Is he in a good mood?"

"He was laughing so I would assume so"

"Good,"

"Why?"

"That means he won't be too upset about me wrecking the Ferrari"

"Paul!" I said as I sat up in the chair and placed the coffee down "what do you mean!?"

"I was in a little finder binder that's all, no big deal" he said sipping some more of his coffee

"Are you okay?" I asked, immediately concerned as I reached over and placed my hand on his chest...his big beautiful chest.

"I'm fine" he said with a smile as he held my hand in his which made me melt. "I just don't wanna face the wrath of Paul Levesque Sr." He said as he played with my fingers. God I loved it when he did that, it was a habit he picked up years ago when we were younger. Whenever he was nervous he'd hold my hand and start to fiddle with them until we came up with a solution to get him out of trouble or before he had to face the consequences of something he had already did.

"How did this happen?" I said not taking my eyes off his hands on mine

"Well" he said taking a deep breath and looking up at the ceiling "I realized I was gonna be late coming back from the coffee shop, so I decided to take the short way here, you know the little road on Mel Valvid?" He said pulling on my middle and ring finger as he continued to look up.

"Yeah" I said, still staring at our hands

"well...wait, where's your ring?" He said looking down at my ring finger

"over here" I said lifting up his old class ring. He gave it to me and told me he always wanted me to wear it and to never take it off until he replaced it with a diamond one. He told me that around the time I thought he was gonna ask me out, but we all know who screwed that up. Needless to say, I never took it off, even when I dated other guys. Paul said that was his way of telling them that I would forever be his and to fuck off. we always laughed at that, but deep down I wonder if he meant it. But anyway, unless I had to do some cleaning or washing etc, this ring never comes off my hand even though it's ten times my size, I had to get an adjustable shank to make it fit. "I took it off to fix the copy machine when it jammed, didn't wanna get ink on it" I explained

"put it on it" he demanded "I like it when you wear my shit"

I laughed as I gave it to him and he placed it on my finger. God that felt good, having him put a ring on my finger, even if it was just a class ring.

"much better" he said as he lowered his head and kissed my hand which made me start staring again." Anyway, well, as I was pulling out, some asshole in a Rolls Royce backs up into the car. He gets out yelling at me as if it was my fault even though I had the right of way. Fucking douche. I told him if I ever saw him again that I'd beat the fuck out of him right on the spot"

"So what happened after that?" I said finally looking up at him, who was already looking at me.

_I hope he hasn't noticed me staring at our hands._

"We exchanged information and shit but he said he was gonna handle it after a meeting he had today. I said 'fuck you and your meeting' and got in my car and drove away"

"What was his name?"

"Don- something"

I tilted my head to the side. "You don't mean James Donnaven do you?"

"Yeah" Paul said looking at me and nodding his head "that's the douche"

"Uh-oh. That's not good for you Paul" I said shaking my head

"What do you mean, babe?"

I couldn't help but blush. Paul also had a habit of calling me babe, baby or baby girl. But it was usually when he was asking me something serious or playing. But the last few months he's gotten into the habit of doing it on the regular, which drove Darcy crazy when they were dating, but trust me I had no complaints. And the fact that it made the bitch squirm only made it enjoyable for me.

"Wait" he said before I could answer "how do you even know that name?"

"Well, based on the papers I just handed to your dad, I think that's the guy your dad is meeting with today"

"**No**" Paul said in a deep tone, as if all the air was drained from his body. He was petrified. "No no no no" he said shaking his head as he squeezed my hand.

I said nothing as I chewed my lip. "Oh god" I said as I looked down

"What?" He asked, rolling his chair over closer to me

"Your friend is here"

He turned around and in the flesh, there he was. James Donnaven talking to his father.

"No. No. No. No" Paul said staring at them

_Yes, yes, yes, yes._ I said to myself sarcastically

"I'm so fucking screwed Steph! First I fuck up my dad's car, and curse out the dude that caused it and he turns out to be the guy my dad has been wanting to cop a deal with for over a year now! I'm screwed! I just ruined this for my dad" he said as he finally let go of my hand and placed his hands on top of his head.

"It'll be okay" I said placing my hand on the side of his cheek.

"No it won't"

"Yes, it will." I said assuringly

He smiled as he once again placed his hand on mine. "I love how positive you are in the worst situations, Darcy would have just agreed with me and made it worse"

_Ugh. Don't even bring up that bitch._

"Well, that's what I'm here for" I said smiling

"Paul!" Called out Paul Sr

"Shit!" Paul said to himself. "Yes?" He answered

"Come here son, there's someone I want ya to meet"

Paul looked back at me as if to ask what should he do now

"You gotta face it sooner or later" I said answering the unasked question

He nodded and stood up, he started to walk off but turned around "come with me"

Without a second thought I got up and wrapped my arm around his as we walked towards his father.

"Paul, I want you to meet..."

"Ah, the boy with the big mouth"

"Huh?" Paul Sr said

"Remember I said I ran into some punk kid earlier?"

"Yeah, sounded like a douche" Paul Sr said

Paul said nothing as he held his head down and shook it

"Funny you say that because this is the douche" James said pointing at Paul

"What?" Paul Sr said looking back at his son then at James

"Yeah" James said nodding "and if I remember correctly, you were supposed to kick my ass right on the spot if you ever saw me again"

"**Paul**" Paul Sr said In a very angry tone "is this true?"

Paul said nothing as he nodded his head

"If this is the type of son you've raised, I'm not sure I want to do business with you. I can't work with someone whose child has no respect for me" James said tightening his tie

"Now just hold on a minute" Paul Sr said holding up his hand "I'll deal with my son and you and I will deal with the business side of things, alright?"

"Very well then" James said walking towards Paul Sr's office door "but I must say this has **_definitely_** had an affect on my opinion towards our meeting" James said as he walked in.

Paul Sr gave Paul the coldest death stare I've ever seen. "**I'll deal with you later**" he said before walking in his office and closing the door.

"I'm screwed" he said shaking his head

"Well, on the bright side it didn't go so bad. At least the asshole is still willing to do business, he could have just walked out. If your dad scores this, yes he'll still be pissed because you jeopardized it, but he'll cut you some slack if he gets it"

"And what if he doesn't?"

"Can't think that way honey, can't think that way" I said with a smile as I placed my hand on his cheek again.

He smiled as he grabbed it. "Man, what would I do without you?"

"Rot" I said as we walked back to our cubicles, hand in hand.

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	3. When you're asleep

**Don't worry, I'm gonna update My Savior, it's just I got bored and started thinking about this story and an idea for an update popped up and I figured I better go ahead and write it down now before I forget it.**

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><p>"I'll see you at home for dinner"<p>

Paul nodded, "yes dad"

"And let's **not** let this happen _ever_ again"

"Yes, sir" he replied as he walked towards me with his head down.

His father closed the door and walked inside of his office.

"So" I said grabbing Paul's wrist "how was it?"

Paul looked up and then turned towards his father's office to make sure the coast was clear and then back to me. "Fucking awesome! Hahaha!" He said as he flopped down in his office chair and begin to spin around in it.

"Wait...What?" I asked, confused "so why did you come out looking all sad?"

"I was playing the role haha" he said as he clasped and rubbed his hands together before spinning around again.

"Paul stop it, you're gonna get a headache like last time."

He stopped. "You'll take care of me won't you?"

_Of course I will._

"Ugh, whatever" I said rolling my eyes

"Good" he said smiling

"So, back to your dad, how did you get him to take it easy on you?"

"He fell for my guilt trip, I just bullshitted the whole thing just like that jackass did. Plus, just as you said, he closed the deal and that helped a lot" Paul said with huge grin.

"Awesome sauce!" I said as I went for a high five

"What have I told you about saying that?" Paul said, keeping his hand on the armrest and arching a brow.

"Oh shut up, you've said dumber shit before, now high five me"

He laughed and smacked my hand as hard as he could "happy?"

"You're an asshole" I said rubbing the palm of my hand.

"But I'm _your_ asshole" he said as he grabbed a pen and got to work.

_Yes you are._ I thought as I grinned.

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><p>As we were packing up for the night to go home, I felt something hit the top of my head. I looked down to see that it was a paper ball, two guesses on who threw it.<p>

"Dick" I said as I picked it up and threw it in my trash can

"I didn't mean to hit you, I was just working on my 3pt shot"

"Liar, that's been your excuse since high school"

"Damn it" he said as he hit the desk with his fist

I laughed. "Come on, we should have left hours ago" I said looking at the clock. We were the only two in the building besides a few janitors that were cleaning up. Paul and I decided to stay back and get caught up on some work as we spent most of the day either play fighting or arguing about something. Neither of us could afford to get behind on our work as a huge meeting was coming up tomorrow and we needed all of our material as we were going to get to speak at the conference. We were both finally getting our big shot to prove to his dad that we could play in the big leagues.

"Alright" he said as he gathered his stuff and stood up "ready?"

"Yep" I said as I walked towards the door.

"Hey" he said softly as he grabbed my arm

"Yeah?" I said turning around

"Thanks"

"For what?"

"Just for being a great friend"

"Oh, stop it you" I said touching his chest gently

"No, I mean it, thanks for everything you do Steph" he said as he leaned in to give me a kiss on the cheek. I had the sudden urge to turn my face and plant one right in his lips but I resisted. He pulled back and smiled at me. "Let's go for some drinks, my treat"

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><p>After Paul had one too many drinks, I left my car at the bar with a close friend as I took his and drove him home. He already wrecked it, no need of him leaving it at a bar to get him in even more trouble.<p>

"Come on big fella" I said as I struggled to get him through the door.

He started laughing for no reason before he flopped down on his bed.

I put my hand on my head, "what am I going to do with you?" I said shaking my head. As I pulled his shirt over his head

"Haaaaaaahahahaha"

"Nothing's funny Paul, god I hate it when you drink" I said shaking my head as he kicked off his pants and was now in nothing but his underwear.

I used all my strength to flip him over on his back. When I did that he grabbed me and brought me down on top of him. We both said nothing as we stared in one another's eyes.

"You're so beautiful" he said softly as he gently rubbed my back

I blushed as I looked down and then back up. "Thank you"

He lifted his other hand and brushed it across my cheek softly. "Any guy would be lucky to have you, and stupid not to grab you"

"Well, there's this one that's acting pretty stupid by not seeing that I'm clearly attracted to him, but he's not acting on it"

He frowned up his face, "who? I'll kick his ass"

I laughed as I laid my hand on his chest. "It's okay, I'm sure in due time he'll figure it out"

He smiled as he laid his head back against the pillows.

"Since you're sleepy, I'll just go" I said starting to get up but he held a firm grip on my waist.

"No" he said half awake, half asleep "stay"

"If you really want me to"

"I do" he said rubbing my back again

"Okay" I said softly as I got up and removed my clothes to where I was in nothing but my black and red lingerie set.

"Mmm...sexy"

I blushed and walked over to his dresser and pulled out one of his t-shirts and put it on.

"Awww" he pouted "should have stayed the way you were" he said winking

"Paul, you're drunk, go to sleep, you don't know what you're saying" I said as I walked over to the bed and hopped in next to him.

"I'mmm vvvery aware of what I'm saaaying" he said as his words slurred a little bit

I shook my head and laid my head on the pillows.

"Come over here" he said as he grabbed me and brought me over to him before I could protest.

He had me pinned to where my legs were entwined with his and I had no choice but to lay my head on his chest. God it felt so good being so close to him, he was so warm.

"Thank you Steph, thank you for everything" he said as he continued to rub my back. "I can't thank you enough for all that you do for me" he said as he planted a kiss in my hair.

"It's no problem, you know I'd do anything for you" I said tracing his chest with my finger.

"I love you Stephanie"

Those four words just sent a shiver down my spine. He's told me he loved me before, but it's never been like this before.

"I love you too" I replied. _So much Paul, so much._

"I love holding you in my arms"

"It could _always_ be this way if you wanted" I said softly, not realizing what I said

"You just take all the pain away"

_Good, he didn't hear me._

We sat in silence until I glanced up and saw that he was sound asleep. I couldn't resist the urge any longer. I reached up and planted a lingering kiss to his soft lips, "I love you, so much" I said as I pulled back and brushed my hand across his cheek gently before I took one last glance at him and laid back on his chest and went to sleep.

As Stephanie drifted off to sleep, even though Paul didn't react to the kiss, he was never asleep. He opened his eyes and looked at her and ran his hand through her hair before picking up her hand that was lying on his chest, he gave it a small kiss before whispering in her ear "I love you too, Stephanie" as he laid his head back on the soft pillows, closing his eyes as a huge grin spread across his face. "I love you too" he said once more as he finally fell asleep.

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	4. He knows

**Merry Xmas Eve! As you can see, this update is much longer than the previous three, enjoy :)**

**p.s. I don't know if the site updated or something but it made the editing process so freaking difficult and wouldn't let me erase and edit stuff the way I wanted to, so if anything seems out of order like it's placed somewhere it shouldn't be, just ignore it. I'll fix it later :)**

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><p>"Come on now Paul, not this again" I said as I walked in his room with my wet hair hanging down and a towel around my waist.<p>

"Don't worry, I'm not trying to rot" he said with a grin before he chuckled. "You worry too much"

"Do you blame me?" I asked as I took a separate towel and begin to dry my hair

"Thanks" he said as he looked at me

"For what?"

"For bringing me home last night when I was dead drunk and not yelling at me for it this morning"

"No problem" I said as I continued to dry my hair "I expect this from you by now"

"You sure do look nice in that towel, mmm" he said with a grin

_Wow, he's flirting with me...and he's not even drunk._ I thought to myself

"Uh, thanks" I said nervously

"You should let me see what's underneath" he said as he grabbed the edge of the towel.

I jumped back "Paul, get up and take your shower so you can take me to Ellie's to get my car"

"What is Ellie doing with your car?"

"Well, someone had to leave theirs behind to make sure a _certain_ someone got home and that they didn't do further damage to their dad's car"

"You left it at the bar?"

"Yes"

"You're so loyal"

I laughed. _That's more than you can say for Darcy,_ I thought.

"To a fault." I said smiling as I finally finished drying my hair and threw the towel at him.

"Come here" Paul said as he motioned towards the bed

"Why?"

"Just come here, come lay with me" he said softly as he patted his chest

I pulled back the covers and hopped in bed with him, laying my head on his chest as I draped my arm across his waist.

"Feels good, doesn't it?" He asked in a soft tone, not his usual arrogant, joking one.

_Yes, very good. This is how it should always be._ I thought

"Feels alright" I said in a joking tone, not wanting to come off as desperate as I really am

He rubbed my bare back which only sent tingles up and down my spine.

"you like being in my arms?"

"It's alright" I said in a joking tone again as I shrugged.

_Yes, I absolutely love this!_

"It could _always_ be this way if you wanted" he said softly as he continued to rub my back

_Now where have I heard that before?_ I wondered before it came back to me and my eyes went wide with shock as I remembered last night.

**_Flashback_**

**_"I love you Stephanie"_**

**_Those four words just sent a shiver down my spine. He's told me he loved me before, but it's never been like this before._**

**_"I love you too" I replied. So much Paul, so much._**

**_"I love holding you in my arms"_**

**_"It could always be this way if you wanted" I said softly, not realizing what I said_**

**_"You just take all the pain away"_**

**_Good, he didn't hear me. _**

**_End of flashback_**

Not sure of what to say, I just kept quiet and didn't say anything

"I wanna ask you about something you said last night" he said as he planted a soft kiss in my hair

"What did I say?" I asked nervously

"Well, and I know we say this all the time, but it was the _way_ you said it that got me thinking"

"What did I say?" I repeated

"you said that you lo..." My cell phone started ringing, cutting him off

_Thank you_. I thought to myself as I shot up and ran towards it, fumbling with it as I got it out of my purse.

"Hello" I answered. "Hold that thought" I whispered to him as I held up my finger

"Hi Jenny, how are ya? I'm good, what has you calling this morning?..yeah, I'm staring at him" I said with a small chuckle "I'll be sure to tell him, thanks. Bye"

"What is my Dad's secretary doing calling you?" He asked

"Oh, she knew she probably wouldn't be able to get a hold of you and since I'm always around, she called and told me to tell you don't forget the big conference meeting today."

"SHIT!" he said as he jumped out of bed and ran towards the bathroom.

"What? Did you forget?"

"No. But I forgot about dinner with mom and dad last night, I promised Dad I'd be over, but I got so caught up in drinking. Aw man, he's gonna be pissed"

"You've missed dinners before"

"Yeah but I always had a good excuse or told them I wouldn't be able to make it. Not I was so drunk that I couldn't come, plus this was no ordinary dinner, that Donnavan asshole was going to be there and we were all supposed to talk business"

"Paul" I said as I sat down on the edge of the bed and shook my head "you have to be more responsible about these sort of things. Had I knew, we would have never went to the bar at all"

"I'm just a huge screw up" he said as he held his head down "I'll never be as successful as my father, he might as well fire me"

"That's not true" I said as I walked over and placed both hands on his shoulders.

"Yes it is"

"No, it isn't. You're a great man and a great businessman, and you're going to prove that today. You're gonna kick ass in there"

He lifted his head up and looked into my eyes "you mean that?" He said as he wrapped one arm around my waist

"Of course I do" I said as I placed one hand on the side of his face, which he gripped with his other hand.

As I brushed my thumb across his beard and looked into his eyes, he pulled me a little closer to him. Our faces were inches from the other and there was nothing but a beautiful silence that roamed over us as we stared into one another's eyes. He closed his eyes and leaned in towards me.

_This is it, it's finally happening. _I thought to myself

I closed my eyes and leaned in too, just as our lips were centimeters apart, his phone started to buzz. We both pulled away and I looked down as he walked past me.

"It was my alarm" he said holding up the phone as I looked up at him. "Telling me to wake up" he said with a slight chuckle. "Well, I better get ready, I'm in enough shit as it is, no need to be late and at that to it" he said as walked past me again.

"Paul"

"Yeah" he said turning around

"You do have your briefs ready, don't you?"

He looked down at his underwear "well," he said looking back at me "I planned on changing into new ones after I took a shower"

I chuckled. "Not underwear you idiot, briefs for the meeting"

"Oh yeah" he said snapping his fingers "of course"

I smiled and looked at him as he smiled back.

"Well, I'm gonna go get that shower" he said motion towards the bathroom

"Yeah, you do that, you stink" I teased.

"Do not" he said taking a whiff of himself "my degree is still working."

I chuckled. "Go take your shower silly"

"I will, but it's not like I need it" he teased as he turned towards the door

"Oh and Paul" I said as he opened the door

"I'm gonna use soap!"

"Not that" I said chuckling

"What?" He said in a soft tone

"Well..you.."

"Yes?"

"It's nothing" I said shaking my head as I flicked my wrist down, dismissing it

"What?" He said softly "tell me"

I took a deep breath. "What were you going to tell me?"

He looked down before looking back up at me "it doesn't matter now... It was just...me being silly that's all" he said as he shook his head "after all I was drunk, so it was probably nothing" he said as he looked down again before walking into the bathroom and shutting the door.

_Oh Paul but it does matter...it matters so much._

* * *

><p>"In conclusion, I believe if we increase our profit by 15% we'll not only make ourselves happy but also the stockholders and members of the board as it makes everyone richer, which in return makes everyone happy" I said with a cheesy grin as everyone chuckled at my little joke.<p>

"Thank you Stephanie, very good" Paul Sr said as he shook my hand as I stepped down from the podium and unto the main floor where everyone else was sitting.

"Thanks pop" I whispered as I smiled and walked back to my seat. I glanced over at Paul who was about five seats ahead of me, we're banned from sitting by or across from one another as we always caused a distraction due to our constant playing, and chatter. It took a while getting used to, but now it's nothing and we just wait until we get back to our desk to throw pens or paper at the other.

"Paul" Paul Sr said as he turned and motioned for Paul to come up and speak. Paul nodded and grabbed his things as he walked up and began to speak. I couldn't concentrate on what he was saying as I kept think back to what he said to me earlier, well almost said, and everything that almost went down between us. If it wasn't for his stupid phone going off, no telling what would have happened. But then again, was I ready for it?

As I looked up and stared at Paul, I just envisioned what it would be like to be with him, not as a friend, not as a girlfriend but for life as his wife, the mother of his children, the one he comes home to every night to hug and kiss on and make love to well on into the morning. This isn't the first time that I've thought of this, and it certainly won't be the last.

"Now the Roberson deal was something that I personally felt we didn't need as it -"

"Why?" James Donnaven asked "I feel that was a much needed deal"

I looked around as I saw some heads nodding in approval and then back at Paul, I knew him better than anyone, he was calm on the outside but on the inside I knew he was boiling if it's one thing he hates, it's being called our or interrupted, especially by someone he loathes.

"Because it did nothing for our company profit wise. The numbers stayed the same in terms of marketing, and -"

"It might have did nothing in terms of figures, yes, but it put this company on a bigger market as it was tied to the Roberson name, which got me interested in the first place. Without the Roberson name tied to this company, I probably would have rejected another deal" Donnaven said as he sat back in his chair and grinned, playing with his tie.

"I disagree, this is a well known company and can do wonders with and **_without_** big names. Yes, it raised viewership by 25% but it did nothing for buys and lowered our stockholder rate by 15% as they wanted nothing to do with it and when your stockholders aren't happy, well, you aren't happy" he said as he turned and winked at me.

I smiled as I glanced over at Donnaven who was pissed that he was outsmarted by Paul. Paul might be young and he might do stupid things, but he knows his shit and that's something no one can take away from him.

"Now, does that sound very profitable or smart business wise to you, ?"

Me, along with a few others lowered our head as we chuckled softly to ourselves. Donnaven had been blasting all of the young interns, workships and older executives all damn day, and Paul was the only one to shut him up. Even Paul Sr chuckled to himself, but it went unnoticed by everyone except for me.

Donnaven said nothing as he clenched his jaws and started to fumble with his tie again.

"As I was saying" Paul said with a huge grin as he continued.

* * *

><p>"That was awesome, the look on his face was priceless!" Jerica said as she high fived Paul. She was a top executive of the company<p>

"Thanks" Paul said with a smile "I try" he laughed

"No one was able to shut that asshole up all day and then you came along, I'm glad you're on our side" Tim said with a smile as he shook Paul's hand. He was another top executive, he worked directly under Paul Sr as did Jerica. They were his go to guys when he needed help with an important decision, though you would never have guessed it with the way they act. Both were in their late 40s but acted younger than Paul and me. They always said we reminded them of them as they were best friends as well and have been working here together for years. They are also banned from sitting by one another as they do the same shit Paul and I do during boring meetings. That's what made them so great to talk to, they wouldn't give us corporate answers or any of that bullshit, they were straight with us and they were fun, that's why Paul and I loved them so much.

"You know me, I'm not gonna let anybody walk over me"

"I know that's right" Jerica answered

"Paul" Paul Sr said as he walked up to us with Donnaven

"We're gonna go" Jerica said motioning towards the elevator "but we'll see you around" she said as she gave a warm smile to Paul, me, and Paul Sr before snarling and rolling her eyes at Donnaven and walking away.

"Once again, you both did great" Tim said as he patted Paul on the back, and smiled at Paul Sr and I and barely glanced at Donnaven before walking off.

_The perks of being a top guy, I can't wait._ I thought to myself with a smile

"Is this how your executives always treat people?"

_No. Just the ones they don't like...like you_ I thought to myself

"Anyway" Paul Sr said, "I agree with Tim, you both did wonderful today and I was very impressed, I gotta say son, you have a true knack for the business" he said placing his hand on Paul's shoulder.

"Thanks dad" Paul said with a smile

"Yes, I must say you both were very impressive, despite the small disagreement that I still stand by" Donnaven said

"That's fine, long as you know that I still stand by what I said" Paul said with a grin, knowing that would get under Donnaven's skin and it did as he rolled his eyes.

"So, _anyway_, you missed a very important dinner did you not?" Donnaven asked

_Who the hell are you to ask that? _I thought _It's his family, not yours_

"where were you? If you don't mind me asking"

_None of yo **DAMN** business, where were you_? I thought as I rolled my eyes _the nerve of this asshole._

"I'm sure my son had a good reason, right son?"

"Yes" Paul said briefly glancing at me before looking back at his father "I.."

"He was with me" I cut in, knowing Paul didn't have a way out of this without my help.

"Doing?" Donnaven

_Your bitch, on my couch. How you like them apples?_

"We were up all night studying our briefs, we didn't want to miss a thing and wanted to make sure we had everything in check for today. This is important to us both"

"Hmm" Donnaven said raising a brow "I hope that was _all_ you were doing" he said in a low tone that was meant to be heard.

"It **_was_**" I answered sternly

"Well then, it's settled" Paul Sr said with a smile "I'm sure you won't miss dinner tonight"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world" Paul said with a grin and winked at me when his father and Donnaven weren't looking.

"Stephanie, as you know,you're always welcomed"

I smiled. "If I can, I'll make it. I'm just gonna go over some figures for next week first"

"Ah, so you plan ahead?" Donnaven asked, sounding impressed

"I want to make sure I have time to go back and double check everything"

"Didn't plan a week ahead of time for this?"

"**No**." I said with a little sass in my voice "weeks ahead, months if you will"

Paul chuckled knowing I had did the same thing to Donnaven as he did earlier.

"Very well" Donnaven said loosening his tie. "I'll see everyone on Monday" he said walking off before anyone could reply, hoping on the elevator.

Paul and I burst out laughing after the elevator doors shut.

"_Guys_" Paul Sr said as he wrapped his arms around us both "listen, I know he's a dick but just play nice, I've always wanted his name tied to my brand and I need him on board. After I get what I want, you can do whatever the hell you want" he said with a grin

"Won't that hurt your business in the future?" I asked

"Nah, most company's can't stand the asshole, they just know his name on paper is gold for them. Even if he trashed us, they'd only do what he wanted to get a signature before they flip on him to" Paul Sr said with a grin as he let us go "well, like I said dinner is at 7, and Stephanie you already know you're more than welcome to join us" he said as he lowered his head and planted a kiss in my hair

"I'll try" I said with a smile

Paul Sr started walking towards the elevator when he turned around. "And one more thing"

"Yes" we answered in unison

"Where the hell were you last night?, what were you two **_really_** doing?"

"Like Steph said dad, working on briefs"

"yeah, and Michael Jackson lives in the empty bird cage at the house, I'm not stupid" he said as he laughed and walked off "and **don't** drink again in my car Paul" He said just as the elevators closed

We looked at one another and laughed as we shook our heads.

* * *

><p>"Well, I better get out of here, mom will be pissed if I miss two dinners in a row" Paul said as he grabbed his briefcase "you coming?"<p>

"Nah, I'm gonna stay behind and work with these figures a little longer, but like I said, I'll try to make it"

"Alright" Paul said putting on his jacket "just don't over work yourself

"Pfft, I wish I knew the meaning of that"

He smirked as he bent down and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Well, I hope you come" he said as he lifted his hand and cupped my face, brushing his thumb over my cheek, the same way I did him this morning.

I looked down as I blushed "I'll try" I said softly

He chuckled and and stood up, "I'm gonna go drop these papers off by Ryan's office and then im out"

"Okay" I said finally looking up

"And I'll make sure to tell him to **_make_** you leave when he leaves"

"Roger that" I said as I gave him a salute

"At ease soldier at ease" he said as he walked down the hall.

I smiled as I glanced over at his computer, "hey you forgot to shut down...oh never mind I'll do it" I said as I went over and sat in his desk chair. As I saved things I thought looked important, I was about shut the computer down until I saw an email between him and his friend Shawn. Usually I would ignore any private conversations but I saw my name in this one.

_**Are you sure?**_

_**Positive man, she said she loved me**_

_**And you weren't drunk?**_

_**I was a little tipsy but I definitely know when a girl tells me that and means it. I mean, it was the way she said it shawn, that and she kissed me.**_

_**She kissed you!?**_

_**Yeah...and I liked it**_

_**Did you kiss her back?**_

_**I was pretending to be asleep, I couldn't just wake up and start making out with her...well, I could have but it would have probably been weird. And who knows, maybe she was just saying that to be nice, I was dropping hints this morning but she shrugged me off on some of them. But then we had this incredible moment and I think we were gonna kiss but my phone went off.**_

_**Do you like her?**_

_**I love her Shawn but...**_

_**But what?**_

_**I don't think it's worth the risk, and I'm still in love with Darcy**_

_**Fuck Darcy, get over that bitch**_

_**It's easier said than done.**_

_**Well, who do you see yourself spending the rest of your life with, Stephanie or Darcy?**_

_**...Darcy-**_

I cut my eyes away from the email before finishing what he said. I couldn't take it, I knew he didn't see me the same way I did him and that hurt. As I shut the computer down, I sat in my chair and realized that It all started to make sense to me now. Everything about this morning, what he was going to ask me and why... Maybe he wanted to let me down easy or something.

My eyes went wide in shock as I saw him cut the corner and I watched him walk towards the elevator and step in.

What hurt me most wasn't the fact that he had chosen Darcy over me, or so it seems as I didn't finish reading; but it was that my feelings for him were no longer a secret, they were out in the open and that let me know one thing:

Paul **knew**...he heard everything I said last night..**_.everything._**

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><p><strong>Leave a review for <span><em>longer <em>updates! :))))**


	5. If only for tonight

***Okay! so they have apparently fixed the problem. You guys couldn't view the update earlier because of a glitch that was going around the site and tons of authors including myself were affected by it. That's why you couldn't view My Saviors as well.**

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><p>So It goes without saying that I have been avoiding Paul for the last few week or so, and so far it has worked to my advantage, but now I find myself in the snack room with no way out as Paul is guarding the door and won't let me out of his sight for one second.<p>

"so what's with the cold shoulder?" Paul asked as he leaned up against the door with his arms folded across his chest, and a huge snarl on his face.

"What do you mean?" I asked as I grabbed a pack of M&M's

"You've been acting weird lately, not talking to me and shit, what's up? Did I do something wrong?"

I shrugged "No"

"Then what is it?"

"Nothing" I said as I opened the candy and put two of them in my mouth

"Bullshit!" Paul said as he threw his arms in the air and leaned forward "Don't lie to me"

"I'm not lying to you" I said placing another M&M in my mouth, not making eye contact with him.

"Yes you are, you've been avoiding me like the plague"

"when?" I said, still looking down at my delicious treat

"you've been avoiding me at work, you don't return my calls or answer my texts, what's wrong?"

"Nothing"

"Well we're not leaving this room until you tell me"

Thats when I finally looked up. "Paul, you can't keep me held hostage in here forever, I have work to do."

"Wanna bet?" he said as he walked over to lock the door until the doorknob twisted and Jerica came in.

"Hi Jerica" I said softly

Paul rolled his eyes.

"Whats with you?" Jerica asked

"Why don't you ask _her_?" Paul said glaring at me

"Attitude" Jerica said before turning towards me "Paul would like to see you in his office"

"Yes, I would" Paul said as he shot another glare

"Not you idiot," Jerica said turning to Paul and then back to me "Stephanie, you know who i'm talking about"

I nodded my head

"This isn't over Steph" Paul said as he looked at me and then Jerica before walking out the room and slamming the door.

"What's his problem?" Jerica asked as she looked at the door

"Wouldn't you like to know?" I said as I walked past her with my arms folded

"Okay, AT-Ti-Tuuuude" Jerica said as she rolled her neck and eyes as I walked out the door.

* * *

><p>*knock knock*<p>

"Come in"

"Hey, you got a moment?" I asked as I poked my head through the door

"Oh look, if it isn't miss attitude, where's your boy toy?" Jerica said as she continued to type on her computer

"I'm sorry" I said with a smile as I walked over and gave her a hug and a kiss " I was just having a bad day that's all" I said as I took a seat in one of the white leather chairs in front of her desk.

"seems like your little boyfriend was too"

I rolled my eyes. "ugh. Paul is **not** my boyfriend"

"But you want him to be" she said as she continued to peck on her keyboard, never once glancing at me and thank god she didn't because I was stunned to hear her say that.

"And what would make you say something like that?"

"Oh please" she said as she popped some gum into her mouth "everyone in this damn building including Paul Sr knows you two have the hots for one another."

"That is not true, if thats true then you and Tim are meant for one another" I said getting defensive

"Tim and I? Pfft yeah right. And I said have the hots for one another, never said anything about being meant for one another"

My silence gave her all she needed. "Mhm" she said as she smacked on her gum "Some people were just made to stay friends honey, like me and Tim" she said with a chuckle

"But you've never thought about it?" I asked without thinking

"Well," She said as she stopped pecking on her keyboard and looked up at the ceiling before looking back down "not really as I've always seen him as a friend, but that's us. Not every friendship is the same though, some are meant to stay that way like Tim and I, and some are meant to be more...like you and Paul" she said as her glaze finally met mine.

"What?"

"Oh don't act simple with me, I see the way you look at him and I see the way he looks at you, you're both too scared to try it because you don't wanna ruin a great friendship but trust me, you too should definitely try and stop playing around before it's too late. You don't wanna end up with someone who isn't for you but are stuck with them because you have kids or something like that. Make the choice while you're young, while the option is still on the table. After all, you have nothing to lose."

_Oh but I do Jerica...I do...I have __**everything**__ to lose._

* * *

><p>"So, you're still gonna avoid me huh?" Paul said as I went to unlock the door to my car as he stepped from behind a truck<p>

"What are you, a spy now?" I said as I placed my stuff in the back and shut the door.

"Answer my question" he said grabbing my keys out of my hand

"Paul," I said holding out my keys "Give me my keys"

"make me" he said putting them inside his coat pocket.

"Paul, i'm **not** playing" I said, my voice getting serious

"And neither am I" he said taking a step closer towards me "I told Kevin to take my car home, i'm riding with you"

"Oh no you're not" I said as I reached for his pocket but he snatched away

"Oh yes I am" he said as he pulled them out of his pocket and hopped in the driver's seat "i'm gonna get down to the bottom of this" he said as he closed the door. "you coming?"

I rolled my eyes as I let out a long sigh and walked around to the passenger side. I opened the door and got in, slamming it behind me.

"Your car not mines, I don't care what you do to it" he said as he put the key in and started the ignition.

* * *

><p>We drove in silence for what seemed like forever until I saw him pulling onto my street.<p>

"What are you doing?" I asked as we pulled into the driveway of my apartment complex.

"Well, you didn't wanna talk in the car, so i'm spending the night and I will stay here until you talk to me." he said as he immediately grabbed the keys and got my stuff out the back.

Once again, I rolled my eyes and sighed as I walked behind him up to my apartment door. He opened the door with the key and let me go in first, I would have turned around and slammed it in his face but I knew he was too strong and quick for me to pull that off, plus he had all my important paperwork in his hand that I really needed to work on, I didn't have time for this.

"Paul, I don't have time for this" I said as I spun around on the heel of my shoe

"Well, make time" he said as he sat my stuff down on the counter and removed his jacket and grabbed his bag off the floor. "I'm gonna go get my shower, start thinking about how you're going to tell me why you've been avoiding me so much." he said as he went towards the guest bath before turning around and walking towards my bedroom.

"What are you doing?" I asked

"I know you and you'll lock yourself in your room for the rest of the night, not taking any chances" and with that he turned and went into my bathroom.

_Damn._ I thought to myself, he knows me so well.

* * *

><p>After Paul got his shower, and I got mine in the other bathroom, he walked into my bedroom with a few snacks and sat them on the table beside me, he climbed in bed on the other side and removed the book I was reading out of my hands. This isn't the first time I've been in bed with Paul, well not like this, we've always slept together in the past, when I spent the night with him i'd sleep in his bed and vice versa, but tonight I just wanted to be alone and didn't want to be bother with him or his millions and millions of questions.<p>

"Lets talk" he said as he turned to face me

"About wh-"

"Don't play stupid Stephanie" he said raising his hand to cut me off "Now tell me the truth, why have you been avoiding me? everything was great and all good between us a while ago and now you're treating me like a piece of shit."

_Hmph, __**I**__ thought they were good._ I thought to myself

"So, whats up? and I swear to God if you say nothing"

"I'm just not feeling too well okay?"

"I know how you act when you're sick and this is most certainly not the same way you'd normally act"

"Well who says I have to be on a routine?"

"you've acted the same since we were kids, throwing tantrums every time you sneeze or cough. You can't get anything over on me Stephanie, so you just might as well go ahead and just spit it out."

"Fine," I said crossing my arms and turning towards him "I just think we need some space from each other thats all"

"What?"

"you heard me, we're too touchy feely and always over one another, it needs to stop, especially at work"

"What the hell did my dad tell you in that meeting because you've never had a problem with it before" he said getting defensive

"has nothing to do with your father, its a decision I made on my own. I want to be respected in this company and earn my way to the top. I don't want the reputation of being friends with the boss's son as a way of how I got to the top when I do make it there."

"So Steph what are you saying? that we can't be friends anymore? that this fucking job is more important than our damn friendship? damn this job then" he said, the bass in his voice deepening

"I'm not saying we can't be friends, just it has to tone down a bit and we have to be strictly professional at all times" I said facing the front, not looking at him. "Like now, you shouldn't even be in the bed with me, we're friends not boyfriend and girlfriend so you have no reason at all to be in my personal space"

"What the fuck? seriously, whats gotten into you dude?"

_The fucking fact that you chose Darcy over me! well...it seemed that way from what little I read._

"Something's up with you and it definitely doesn't have shit to do with our jobs. So why don't you just tell me the fucking truth alright"

I said nothing as I rolled my eyes and laid back against my soft pillows, I turned on my side and turned off the light to my side of the bed ignoring him. I was in no mood to fight nor did I want to end up saying something I'd regret and didn't even mean. This was all just a front to throw him off from what I was really mad and hurt by. And it seemed to be working for now, but like Paul said, I can't get anything past him and I knew this would't be able to last for long, I know it will only take me so far but if it was going to get me through tonight, then it was worth it.

* * *

><p><strong>A little short but whatevs, its 6:30 in the morning and this is what was on my mind and I wanted to get it down before I forgot. Next update will probably be longer. My updates are always longer when i'm typing on a computer because I keep going and going, but when i'm using my iPad I just stop because I get sick of pecking on this little thing lol. Happy New Year :)<strong>

**Leave Reviews**


	6. What if I'm wrong?

**Sorry for late update, I got really sick this week and had tons of schoolwork :)**

* * *

><p>"Good morning" Paul said as I walked into the kitchen, he was in his suit and tie and was fixing a cup of coffee. "Would you like some?" He said holding up the pot<p>

I said nothing as I went to the cabinet and pulled out a glass and filled it with orange juice.

"So we're not speaking now?" Paul said as he placed the coffee down and walked over towards me.

"Don't start with me this morning, Paul" I said as I took a lengthy sip before putting it down.

"Me start with you?" He said pointing to himself and then towards me. "You're the one acting like something crawled up your ass while I'm trying to be as civil as possible."

"Whatever" I said as I started to walk off but he grabbed my arm "let me go"

"No. Not until you tell me what I've done, and don't say nothing because if it was nothing you wouldn't be acting like this"

"Paul, let me go. **Now**" I said sternly

"you know what? screw this and you, if you want to be mad at me when i've continually tried to make up for whatever the hell it is i've done then so be it. Be mad, I don't give a fuck, don't talk to me and I won't talk to you" Paul snapped as he let go of my arm and grabbed his jacket and suitcase before storming out of the door, slamming it in the process.

I felt bad, I didn't mean to make him that pissed, Paul has never snapped on me before in all the years that we've been friends, i've never even seen him get upset with me. He never had a reason to because we never fought, so this was new for me. I just hope everything will work out in the end after we've both had our space.

* * *

><p>The office was pretty quiet today, I didn't have Paul near to aggravate me or stop me from getting my work done like he usually does. Instead, all I got was cold stares whenever I would see him in the hallway and he did his work in his father's office since he was absent today. It felt weird not speaking to my friend but I did bring this on myself.<p>

"Hey girl" Jerica said as she patted me on the back

"Hi" I replied softly as I gave her a warm smile

"So whats with you and the schnoz?" she joked

"what do you mean?"

"well, its quite evident that you two aren't speaking to one another today, everyone has noticed it. Even the people who can't stand you guy's playful tactics miss the noise. Its weird."

"Oh, I guess we're just super busy today thats all" I said with a shrug

"don't give me that, you're busy everyday, now whats the haps?"

I rolled my eyes. "haven't we told you about saying that?"

"and haven't I ignored you guys about it?"

I chuckled. "True, and it's nothing, really"

"Stephanie, you can lie to him but you can't lie to me"

I took a deep breath and then looked up at Jerica. "Okay, fine. You were right"

"you have to more specific as I'm always right. Now what was I right about?"

"Me liking Paul"

"OhMyGod!" she said placing her hand over her heart as if she were having a heart attack "It can't be! I would have never guessed that in a million years" she said with a grin

I smiled.

"But?" she said seriously

"But what?"

"what happened?"

"long story short, I want to be with him but I'm afraid to tell him and then I saw an email on his computer the other day between him and a friend and it seems like he has the same feelings for me"

"and?"

"Well, I kept reading and the friend asked him did he see himself with me or something like that or did he see himself being with the ex, and Paul said he loved me but he said his ex girlfriend's name first so I stopped reading"

"why?"

"I didn't want to see the rest and have my heart broken even more"

"Well maybe you should have kept going, you never know what he could have said after that"

"Nah. he made it clear, Darcy is the one that he wants to be with"

"did he, or did you let _yourself_ think that he did?" she said before getting up and walking away.

I said nothing as I watched her go, I placed my head in my heads and took a deep breath before running my hand through my hair.

_Did I make a mistake?_

* * *

><p>"Hey" I said softly as I walked into the break room where Paul was.<p>

"Oh, now you can see me?" he said harshly as he walked past me and grabbed a bag of chips

"Paul, i'm sorry"

"sorry for what? treating me like a piece of shit when i've done nothing wrong, or sorry for ignoring me when once again, i've done nothing wrong?"

"for both" I said softly

"Well, bravo to you" he said as he tucked the chips under his arm and clapped before grabbing them again. He walked up so we were face to face. "You really hurt my feelings Stephanie, you really did. You're my best friend and you treated me like a stranger, like a piece of shit lying on teh side of the road when all I tried to do was make things right between us, do you know how that feels?"

"No" I said as I looked down and then back up at him

"hmm" he said tapping his chin with his finger "well let me show you" he said as he bumped my shoulder and walked past me yet again, this time out the door.

* * *

><p>"Don't be so harsh on her, you never know what she's going through" Shawn said as he grabbed a beer and tossed Paul one as well.<p>

"Yeah," Paul said as he twisted the cap off "but she knows that she can come to me and talk about anything, yet she chose to treat me like shit" he said as he took a long slip

"Well, switching sides, have you talked to Darcy lately?"

"Nope." Paul said as he hung his head down "haven't heard from her since she left me for o'l boy"

"Sorry about that"

"Nah. It's whatever, I mean i'm still down in the dumps about it but Steph was always there to lift me up. Now she's acting crazy and I don't know what to do"

"Well, you have me"

"yeah, but I don't wanna bring all my emotional crap to you and bore you with it"

"Why not?" Shawn said as he took a swig "I did it to you with Raven, Carly, Jessica, Ashley and Rebecca..._but Becca's here to stay_" he said in a cartoonish voice with a evil grin.

Paul laughed. "you're such a fucking idiot"

"But you love me for it and thats why we're friends"

"true" Paul said as he gulped down more of the alcohol

"Woah there, take it easy soldier"

"I know, it's just, not having Steph in my life is ten times worse than not having Darcy. I can live without Darcy, I can't without steph"

"talk to her"

"Not right now, she needs to know how this shit feels, how much it really does hurt"

"You don't have to show her, you could just tell her"

"I did"

"not when you're angry, when you've calmed down a bit. Maybe she'll understand more. When you snap on a person they don't really take in all of what you're trying to say. I know I don't, a calm voice will go much further than a loud obnoxious one"

"Alright, i'll call her"

"**No**. Go **see** her. This needs to be face to face. You obviously love this girl Paul, you said so yourself in our email. And when I asked who you'd rather spend the rest of your life with between Darcy and Steph you said Stephanie. You said Darcy was the one who you thought you could work things out with and eventually have a long lasting relationship. But it was Stephanie who you said was your soul mate and the one who you could spend life with, don't you think that's worth fighting for? or at least sitting down to have a small chat about?"

"If we talked about that, it'd be anything but a _small_ chat Shawn"

"I know" he said holding his hands up in defense "but i'm just saying, you'll never know what could have been if you don't try"

Paul took a deep breath and laid his head back on the couch as he took in everything that his friend had said to him. He was right, it was time for a talk, but just not now.

* * *

><p>"Wow, Paul is the last person that I thought would ever snap on you" My friend Arria said as she walked over and handed me the other creme soda that was in her hand.<p>

"I know, me either." I said as I opened it and took a sip. "It was so unexpected and I didn't know what to do, but I do know that I felt bad about it. You know, making him upset and all."

"Give him time" Arria said taking a sip from her drink "he's just in his feelings right now"

"I sure hope so" I said rubbing my shoulders.

"don't worry, that's all it is, he just can't handle you not talking to him all of sudden and it has him feeling some type of way"

"I hope you're right about that because I can't live without him, I love Paul, he's my-"

"you what?"

"Nothing" I said trying to brush off what I just said

"Mmmhmm, at least you finally admit it, i've known that for years"

"did I really make it that obvious?"

"yes" she said with a chuckle "Why won't you tell him?"

"Because he doesn't love me the way that I love him."

"and you know this how?"

"well, the email that I told you about"

"and just like Jerica told you, I think you talked yourself into an answer before you even finished reading what was really said"

"and what was really said Arria? huh?" I said getting defensive

She held up her hands in defense "let's just calm down for a minute, all I'm saying is that you should have finished reading what he said so-"

"so what? so I can get even more heartbreak?"

"Stephanie, all you read was '_Darcy_' no telling what words could have followed that"

"like what?"

"like, Darcy isn't the one for me, or Darcy is a thing in the past and I love Stephanie, Darcy is a bitch; anything Stephanie and you didn't stick around to see it"

"but what if he didn't say that and it was what I think it was"

"than at least you'd have confirmation and wouldn't be sitting here worrying yourself to death about _what if_" she said with air quotes as she took another swig

I said nothing as I turned around and looked out the window.

_What if Arria was right? what if all of this was just some big misunderstanding and Paul really does feel the same way and i've been giving him shit for it? what if you were wrong Stephanie...what if..._

* * *

><p>As Paul pulled into his driveway , he spotted a car parked outside his house that he couldn't really tell whose it was and just automatically assumed that it was either Stephanie or his parents, none of which he felt like talking to right now.<p>

Paul sighed as he rubbed his head and got out of the car, locking it behind him. He walked into his house and it was dark, he threw his keys down, locked the door and went to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. After having his water he removed his tie from around his neck and threw it down on the floor to be picked up in the morning as he made his way to his bedroom. As he got closer, he saw that there was light coming from inside his bedroom. He arched his brow as he tried to figure out what was going on and who was in there. Stephanie and his parents are the only ones with keys to his home so he knew it had to be one of them. But he also knew that his parents wouldn't be in his room, so he just banked on it being Stephanie and he had no time for arguments right now; unless of course, she wanted to talk in a calmly fashion about her weird behavior then he was all for it.

Paul took a deep breath and walked into his room to find it lit with small dim light by candles and a beautiful aroma as he glanced over and saw the cinnamon incense sitting on the small mahogany wooden dresser by his bed. But who was on his bed is what shocked him the most.

"Hi stranger" she said in soft sultry tone

"Darcy, what are you doing here?" Paul said as he watched her get up, she was wearing one of his t-shirts and nothing else. She slowly walked over towards him and wrapped her long slender arms around his neck as she placed a gentle kiss to his neck. Her beautiful blonde locks brushed across his face as she did this. She lifted her head, and placed a lingering kiss to his lips before pulling back. Her beautiful smile soon turned into an evil grin as she stroked his hair with her hand before speaking.

"I've come back baby, i've come back for you and this time i'm not going anywhere"

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><p><strong>Leave Reviews!<strong> (I'm going to try and update **Trophy Wife **and **My Savior** Also, check out my new story, it's called **Dare to Take a Risk**. Which i'm going to update the second chapter to today) Wow, I just realized that I have** four** stories going on at once...shiiiiit lol


	7. Its the truth that hurts you the most

**Just felt like updating this one, don't worry, I plan on getting to Trophy Wife and My Savior at some point lol.**

**And thanks for all the awesome reviews, you guys are awesome. If i'm honest, when i'm writing, I never intend for it to provoke the reactions or emotions that my stories do. I swear I make up every single line as I go, i've never been one that could plan out my writing before I did it, it would always screw me up. All I can do is write an ending and start from there hoping it matches up in the end :)**

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><p>"No, no no Darcy" Paul said shaking his head as he removed Darcy's arms from around his neck. "You can't stay here tonight, or any night for that matter"<p>

"And why is that?" She said getting defensive

"Gee, I don't know, maybe because you cheated on me and left me for a guy I considered a friend" Paul said sarcastically as he rolled his eyes

She rolled your eyes back. "He was never your friend, **you're** the only one who _assumed_ that"

"And I also _**assumed**_ that I had a faithful girlfriend, as you can see, I was wrong about that as well" Paul said looking her up and down

"Baby, that's in the past, it was a long time ago"

"Yeah, three months is such a _looong_ time" Paul said sarcastically yet again (Did I ever mention how long its been? if I did and this is wrong, just ignore it lol)

Placing her hand on his chest, she looked him in the eyes "But this time is different, this time I'm here to stay and..."

"No" Paul said removing her hands and shaking his head "whoever said there would be another time? you made your choice, and I wasn't apart of it then so I'm going to be now"

"Paul, I made a mistake okay? I made a mistake, it's **you** that I want"

"Why now!?" He roared

"it has nothing to do with _now_, i've always wanted you"

"Whatever"Paul said backing away and sitting on his bed "just get out, I have enough on my plate to worry about."

"Well," she said sitting next to him and wrapping her arms around his neck "let me help you relax" she said as she placed a small kiss behind his ear

"Move" Paul said gently pushing her away but with enough force to let her know he was being real

"Whats your problem?"

"I don't know, maybe the fact that my cheating ex-girlfriend is standing in the middle of my room with my shirt on"

"You didn't have a problem with it before"

"Because, before, you were my girlfriend; currently, you are not"

She placed her hand on her head "Paul, why do you have to be so difficult?"

"Why couldn't you be more faithful?"

"why do you keep bringing that up!?"

"you're acting like this happened 10 years ago instead instead of a few short months ago Darcy, you broke my heart, you really really did. I was going through a crisis without you, if it wasn't for Stephanie I..." Paul said getting quiet as he looked down at his entwined fingers before speaking "I don't know what I would have done" he said softly

"Forget her" Darcy said moving closer "All she ever wanted to do was break us up anyway, she always wanted your attention, tried to make herself a priority in _**our** _relationship."

"**No**. Stephanie respected our relationship, **you** never respected our friendship"

"Because she was always over you, like she wanted you or something"

_Because maybe she did...and I want her too._ Paul thought to himself.

Darcy jumped up and placed both hands on her hips"Don't tell me your rejection of me has anything to do with her" she said rolling her eyes

"Yes, yes it does." Paul said standing up " It has everything to do with her because while you were out fucking chad, she was here consoling me and being my friend, being the woman **you** should have been" Paul said as he pointed at Darcy

"And where is she now? Huh? Where is she now?" Darcy said doing a full 360 around the room with her arms open "She's not here" she said when she stopped "But" she said walking over and wrapping her arms around Paul's neck yet again "I am, and i'm here to make things right. I messed up, okay? I messed up baby, big time. Chad wasn't half nor could he ever be half the man you are. I thought he was what I wanted, I really did, but I was wrong. He doesn't hold me the way you used to, he doesn't talk to me the way you used to...he doesn't make love to me the way that only you know how. Paul, I need you and I love you and I swear, if you take me back, I'll be a changed woman"

Paul thought for a second "You mean that?"

"Yes"

"like you really mean it, and you're not playing games with me" he said wrapping his arms around her waist

"I swear"

He nodded his head. "Then it's official"

She smiled. "What is?"

"I still don't want you" Paul said dropping his arms and rolling his eyes as he backed out of her embrace.

"Damn it Paul!" Darcy said stomping her feet "Whats it gonna take to get you back!?"

"You can't!"

"and why is that?"

"This isn't a game where you can pick and chose your battles, you weren't faithful the first time, who says you will be the second time?" he said crossing his arms "everyone warned me about you"

"Oh, god" she said rolling her eyes "here we go" she said as she flopped down on the bed and threw her head back

"They did, my parents, my friends, my co-workers..._Stephanie_"

Darcy snapped her head up "Of course that bitch did"

"**Hey**" Paul said pointing a finger "Don't you dare call her out of her name"

"Defensive are we? its almost as if you rather be with her"

Paul said nothing as he gave her a guilty stare

"You've got to be kidding me right? you can't be serious?" she said crossing her long slender legs, ones that Paul couldn't help but stare at

"thats not the point" he said shaking his head "the point is, they all warned about you and I went against them, I defended you and protected you with all I had and loved you with every ounce in me, and yet in the end, I was the damn fool."

"Look baby i'm sorry, but in order for us to work, you're just gonna have to let that go"

"Who said we're getting back together? are you deaf or just dumb?"

"Dumb in love with you"

"Oh god, here we go" he said in a mocking tone as it was him who threw his head back before looking at her

"I'm serious Paul, all the time I was with Chad, I never stopped thinking nor stopped loving you."

"But you couldn't think of me enough to get up? Darcy i've never cheated on you, I couldn't cheat on you if I tried. I loved you way too much to ever think of such a thing neither less act on it. I loved you past my heart, I loved you all the way in my soul and you threw all of that trust and love out when you fucked him"

"But did I really Paul?" she said slowly getting off the bed in a seductive way "Did I _really_ lose _all_ your love?" she said standing face to face with him. "I know Paul, I know deep down you still love me and you still want me. Drop the tough guy act"

"Its not an act"

"then why haven't you thrown me out? why haven't you called the cops?"

"Because i'm not an evil person, you'll leave sooner or later once you realize that i'm not gonna give you the attention that you want"

"But you will Paul, you will, I know you will" she said stepping closer "you can't get rid of me" she said with a seductive grin as she played with the collar on his shirt.

"Darcy" he said grabbing her hands "I think it's time you left"

"but do you _really_ want me to go-"

"Yes" he said cutting her off

"Okay, fine. But just know that no one could ever love you the way that I do Paul, **no one**"

"And when was that? before or after I found out you were fucking chad?"

She rolled her eyes. "So you're going to forever hold that against me, huh?"

"Honestly, Darcy, if you had only fucked him once, I actually could forgive you. But the fact that this was happening for weeks before I found out, is what makes me hold a grudge against you. Had this been a one time thing and you explained to me why you had to go to another man for love and affection, I could probably understand..._**probably**_. But since thats not what happened, and you went on a fucking spree, I can't forgive you, I just can't. I wouldn't be able to lay down with you and wake up with you the next morning and look at you the same."

"You do know that people change, right Paul?"

"why now? huh? why come back now? it's not like Chad couldn't afford to give you the lavish lifestyle you've always been used to."

"It was never about the money, okay? If it was that then I would still be with him"

"Then what was it?"

"You started ignoring me"

"ugh" Paul said rolling his eyes

"No, Paul, I'm serious. You really start ignoring me and started hanging with your boys...and Stephanie more than you did me. I got jealous"

"So jealously is a reason to cheat? I learn something new everyday"

"No. What sent me over the edge was when I told you how I felt and you brushed it off, that really hurt me, it made me feel like you didn't care and I guess I just wanted you to hurt as much as I was. I was only going to use Chad to make you jealous, I never meant for it to get physical, but he noticed what was going on between you and me and just became a friend to talk to.

"and later a fuck buddy" Paul said interrupting

She took a breathe and continued "It wasn't until he started telling me things that I wanted, **needed** to hear. Things **you** should have been saying, things I wish you did say but instead it came from another man. I'm a woman Paul, I can't help but get lost in my emotions. He was doing all the right things that I needed at that time. I just wish you would have listened to me, that's all."

"so, you're saying it's_** my** _fault **you** fucked another guy?" Paul said crossing his arms and shifting his body weight from side to side

"No" she said calmly "What i'm saying is, had you been the man I needed you to be then-"

"then what? none of this would have happened? thats saying it's my fault Darcy and quite frankly, it's bullshit"

"Paul-"

"You always have to find some way to twist things up so that it's my fault. You did this, whether you want to believe it or not. You made your bed, so sleep in it."

"I'd rather sleep in yours...with you"

"You're corny as hell" Paul said chuckling

"One of the number one reasons why you fell in love with me in the first place."

Paul nodded. "true" he said rubbing his chin "but that still doesn't give you the right to think you can just show up here and everything is gonna be alright and that we're gonna get back together and act like everything is all fine and dandy"

"I know, I know" she said softly "but i'm willing to do whatever it takes to make things right again Paul, I really am and if giving you your space will do that then I will. I just want you to know that when I tell you I love you, I mean it"

Paul said nothing as he looked down, then he felt a soft touch bring his face up to beautiful, sparkling blue almond shaped eyes. In that moment, Paul knew that he couldn't lie to himself anymore. As much as he did love Stephanie, he still loved Darcy. The feelings he had for this woman was just not going to go away in the snap of a finger no matter how much he wanted them to. And he didn't feel guilty, he was single, he wasn't with anyone, him and Stephanie never made anything official nor have they talked about it or even talked at all, so what did he have to fear? He wanted to hate Darcy, he wanted to throw her out of his house, but he knew, that just like she said, deep down there was still there un denying love for her that he just couldn't get rid of no mater how hard he tried and wanted it to.

Paul took a step closer and wrapped his arms around her waist as she wrapped hers around his neck as she slowly led him to the bed. They sat down and stared at one another for what seemed like an eternity unlike she moved forward and planted an ardent kiss to his lips. In this moment he knew this was right, and before he knew it, they had fell back against the pillows.

* * *

><p>"I'm gonna make things right, I have to" I said to myself as I drove up the driveway and parked my car. "I have to tell Paul that I love him and that I want to be with him. This is now or never Stephanie" I said as I stepped out and started walking towards the front, as I made my way to the door I couldn't help but notice a matte grey Aston Martin parked next to Paul's car, but I didn't think anything of it.<p>

"My whole apartment doesn't even cost that much" I said to myself as I kept walking. I started to knock on the door but then a huge smile spread across my face as I remembered that I still had a key. "no better way then to surprise your man" I said as I dug through my purse and held up the key before using it to unlock the door. I walked in and noticed that it was dark.

_Clearly he can't be asleep this early_. I thought to myself as I walked into the kitchen and sat the food down on the table. Might as well have a nice meal while we chat about our future together. I blushed at the thought of that. I brought him his favorite meal from his favorite restaurant, I knew he'd enjoy this coming from his _favorite_ person as well.

I removed my coat and heels and ran upstairs to go get my man. I stopped at the corner when I saw dimmed light coming from his room and the door slightly ajar. My suspicions started to get the best of me as I moved closer and closer. My heart stopped when I heard a few soft moans and immediately a million thoughts ran through my head, I tried to swallow but it felt like a huge lump of sand hand been shoved down my throat. I walked closer and opened the door, Paul immediately turned when he heard his door squeak and was shocked to find Stephanie standing in the doorway.

"Ste..steph?" he stuttered as his threw himself off of Darcy

"I'm, um...sorry for interrupting, i'll just leave" I said as she turned around

"Hope you enjoyed the show, much more to come" Darcy spat out as Paul gave her a death stare

I said nothing as she turned and looked at her before darting out the bedroom.

"Steph wait!" Paul called out as he frantically tried to put his pants back on

"you're seriously not going after her, are you?"

Paul ignored Darcy as he ran out the room.

"Steph!, Steph wait!" Paul said as he jumped down the last five steps and caught her just in time as she was pulling on her coat. "Steph, wait, just let me explain" he said walking up to her, out of breath

"You're a grown ass man, Paul, you don't have to explain anything to me" I said as I walked to the kitchen and grabbed my purse and keys "You can do whatever you want"

"Steph" Paul said as he grabbed her arm

"what!?" I roared as I turned around and tears were in my eyes

"I'm...I'm sorry"

"screw you" I said shaking my head as I tried to walk away again

"It's not like you gave me much of a choice"

"so this is **MY** fault?" I said snapped as I roughly snatched out of his grip

"No. Its just...that could be us up there and its not, all because you won't tell me how you really feel! how do you feel Stephanie? why are you here!?"

"because..."

"because what!?"

"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU OKAY!" I said as I broke down into tears "Because I love you and I want to be the one you're with every night, the one you love unconditionally! thats why Paul! thats why i'm here! and I came to tell you that and you couldn't even give me one more day until you were back in bed with that bitch!"

"Steph...I...I didn't know you felt this way"

"I love you Paul, I've always loved you. I was just afraid to tell you because I didn't think you felt the same, and because I saw the email Paul"

"What email?"

"Between you and Shawn. When he asked who you rather spend the rest of your life with, you said her!" I said pointing towards the staircase "you said her and not me and I just couldn't take it! thats why i've been avoiding you. But I finally got the courage to put my big girl panties on to come down here and tell you that but instead, what do I get? the man I love in bed with the bitch I hate" I said as I angrily spun around on my heel and headed toward the door

"Baby, wait!" Paul called out as he tried to grab my arm again "I lo-"

"Save it" I said holding my hand up

All of a sudden we both turned towards the staircase as we heard claps coming from the top, making its way toward the bottom. Darcy was wearing Paul's shirt, the shirt I would always sleep in when I spent the night I might add and even though it was Paul's shirt and was on the big side it clung to her curves perfectly. It never looked that good on me before.

"Bravo, what a wonderful show" she said sarcastically as she walked up behind Paul and wrapped her arms around his waist "now if you don't mind i'd like to get back to making sweet passionate love to **my** man." she said as she planted a small kiss to his back.

Paul said nothing as he looked down at her arms around him and then back up at me with more guilt in his eyes then I have ever seen.

"Even now you can't let her go, can you?" I asked softly

His silence spoke volumes to me.

"No. No he can't" Darcy answered

"You know what?" I said eyeing her up and down "You're not even worth it" I said as I tightened my coat. "and as for you" I said looking at Paul "your favorite meal is in the kitchen, enjoy dinner and your bitch"

"Oh he will," Darcy said arching her brow "and as far as dinner is concerned" she paused to look me up and down, "hes full... I gave him a _mouthful_ to eat." She said with an evil smirk before kissing the side of his jaw. "If you kiss him, you can still taste me" she smirked again

"Fuck you"

"he's already doing that"

I said nothing as I turned my back and walked towards the door. "Goodbye Paul" I said before slamming the door behind me.

Darcy smirked as placed a kiss to Paul's cheek, but he removed himself from her embrace. "did you have to do that?" he asked

"Really, Paul, really? one minute you're fucking the shit out of me and the next you care about what she thinks!?"

"yes! yes I do" he snapped back

"Paul, you need to make a decision, either me or her because I am not to be played with. Now with that said...you know what, forget it, lets just forget all this ever happened and just go back to bed."

"You really don't care, do you?"

"about her? no. But you," she said wrapping her arms around his neck " I could never stop caring about." She said as she stood on her tip toes and planted a small kiss to his lips. "Well damn, I do taste good" She chuckled and winked before running upstairs.

Paul said nothing and shook his head and stared at her as she went. He looked at the door and couldn't help but think about Stephanie and everything she said. He sat down and grabbed a pillow and punched it a few times before he held it close to him.

_Because I love you and I want to be the one you're with every night, the one you love unconditionally! thats why Paul! thats why i'm here!  
><em>

Her words ran through his head repeatedly before he shook his head and got up, he looked at the door one last night before he walked up the stairs.

************ (That little line I always use to separate scenes just wasn't necessary for this small paragraph lol)*************

It wasn't until I was in my car that I let all the tears come crashing down. I just couldn't believe this, I really thought we had a chance and that bitch just had to fuck it up. But I was not going to let this thing get best of me. He's made his choice and i'm going to deal with it come hell or high water. I wiped my tears away and I started the engine to my car, tomorrow was a new day and I was going in it with my head held high.

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><p><strong>Damn, this chapter was pretty good if I do say so myself, its the best one i've written for this story or perhaps all mine. I really liked it, I usually write a chapter and never read it again but I had to go back and read this one lol. I have no idea how the next chapter is going to live up to this one if i'm honest. :\<strong>

**Anyway, Leave reviews!**

**p.s. if you're wondering what Darcy looks like, just think of former WWE Diva Kelly Kelly...I can't stand her so she's perfect for this role lol; and hmmm Chad, I guess he can be John Cena since I can't stand his ass either.  
><strong>


	8. And now you know

Sorry guys! I didn't realize it had been this long since I updated!

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><p>So it goes without saying that I have been avoiding Paul all day. It's not because I'm scared to confront him, because I'm not, I'm glad that I got everything off my chest. It's the simple fact that I just didn't feel like dealing with all of this shit at work or for anywhere for that matter. I just want some time to clear my head and some space to do so.<p>

As the meeting finished, I called over one of the other workers to talk to so Paul wouldn't try and get me alone. I could tell that he was frustrated and I knew he only had about 10 minutes left until his next meeting so I grabbed her by the arm and kept walking. I turned and saw that he was looking down at the carpet and was fuming. He hit the table hard with his fist before walking out and slamming the door, causing everyone to look at him.

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><p>"Jerica"<p>

"nope"

"come on"

"your problem,you have to fix it, you know what you have to do to make things right. Now I love you two more than anything, but I can't keep fighting your battles for you. I'm more than willing to give you advice but I've gave you all I got. The choice is yours now, you love her?"

"you know I-"

"do you love her?"

"yes, with all my heart"

"then tell her, not me. Telling me won't help you one bit" and with that Jerica patted Paul on the shoulder and walked away, giving him a lot to think about.

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><p>As I finished mixing up the batch of brownie mix, I heard my doorbell ring. I licked the spoon and tossed it in the sink before rushing off to greet Arria, I know she was supposed to come over so we could have a girls sleep over. I answered the door and the smile on my face quickly faded.<p>

"why are you here?"

"The other night, did you really mean all that stuff you said?" Paul asked as he leaned up against my doorway, one hand latching on to the side for support. He looked a hot mess, I could obviously tell he had been drinking, but not enough that he'd put anyone in danger. His shirt was torn halfway off, his hair was a mess with half of it still in a ponytail and he looked like he had been crying.

"leave" I said trying to shut the door but he pushed it back open

"Answer me," he said panting "The other night...did...did you really mean all that stuff you said?"

"No, I made it all up" I said sarcastically

"i'm being serious, Stephanie, I deserve to know" he said stumbling inside my apartment as he kicked the door shut.

"Of course I did Paul" I said as I crossed my arms and shifted all my weight to one side.

"why now? why wait to tell me?"

"Because you're with her!"

"but i'm here now! and I will be here for as long as you want me to be if given the chance" Paul said as he stepped closer and wrapped his arms around me.

"I can't do this"

"Yes you can" he said pulling me into his chest

"I can't" I said as a tear ran down my face and I tried to push him off.

"do you love me?"

"Paul.."

"**do you love me**?" he asked more sternly

"Yes" I said softly "Yes I do, more than anything"

"Then be with me"

"I can't"

he let go of me. "why?" his voice was soft and calm but full of emotion

"because"

"because what?"

"Paul, don't force this on me"

"I'm not forcing anything on you, i'm simply asking you a question, do you want to be with me? it's a simple yes or no"

"its more to it than that and you know it!"

"like what? just answer my questions and stop trying to avoid them"

"I not!"

"yes you are!"

"listen Paul, I'll talk to you about this when i'm good and ready, this has been a hell of a last two days for me and i'm not about to let you just force me to give you answers just because it will satisfy _**you**_, if you really loved and cared about me then you would give me more time. My head is spinning and i'm full of emotions right now. I can't do this!" I said turning as I went back into the kitchen.

"Baby," he said softly as he walked up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist "i'm not trying to hurt you" he said resting his chin on my shoulder "i'm just trying to help the both of us, **I want _us_**, I **want _this_** to **work**. I've never loved anyone as much as I love you and I don't plan on it"

"so why did you go back to her?" I asked as I slowly turned around in his arms "why didn't you just walk away?"

He dropped his head before looking back at me. "Honestly Stephanie, I don't know. She was saying all the right things that I needed to hear, things I wish _**you**_ would have been the one to say to me. I **needed** you to tell me that you **loved **and_** needed**_ me and that no one else mattered. I was just so caught up in a whirlwind of emotions that I lost track of everything that was important...like you" he said pulling me closer, now our heads were touching.

I could smell the slight hint of alcohol on his breath but it wasn't strong and I could hear the raw emotion in his voice, I knew he was telling me the truth. If it was one person Paul could never lie to, it was me. And not just because I could point it out, but I was always the person he could go to, we could read each other like a book and knew when the other was hurting and if they were lying to cover that hurt up. But this little fall out we had took all of that away and I don't even think either of us knew who the other was anymore.

"But you still chose to sleep with her" I said breaking out of his grasp

"It meant noth-"

"don't tell me that!" I snapped as I turned around and looked him dead in the eyes. "No matter what you say, you're still in love with her Paul! you might **love** me but you're** in** love with her and I just can't accept that."

"Steph I-"

"**No.**" I said raising my hand. "Until you can figure out who you want to be with, I think you should leave"

"But i'm here! i'm here now and-"

"Exactly" I said cutting him off. "You're here, _**now**_."

"And that could all change if you would just make up your mind and-"

"MAKE UP MY MIND!?" I roared "Paul this isn't a fucking game of chess where i'm out of moves and just decide to do whatever, its not like i'm trying to pick out a new dress and can't come to a decision, this right here" I said motioning between me and him "is my **life**, this is a life choice not just something I choose at the flip of a coin and if you view it that way then i'm obviously not the girl for you"

He placed his head in his hands before slowly removing them and walking up to me again. "Baby," he said softly as he grabbed my hands "I didn't mean it like that, all i'm saying is I want you, I want us, I want this. All I'm asking is if you want the same thing."

"I do" I said softly as I held my head down before he lifted it back up

"Then be with me"

I started crying.

"Babygirl don't cry" he said wiping the tears from my eyes

"Paul" I said shaking my head "It's really not that simple"

"Nothing ever is babygirl" he said giving me a slight smile

"Paul, i'm just going to need some time okay? can you respect that? please."

He nodded his head. "I'll give you all the time you need"

"Thank you" I said softly

Paul nodded and turned and started walking towards the door, he was just about to open it when he turned around.

"did you ever finish the email?"

"what email?"

"the one between Shawn and I"

"no, why?"

"It didn't have the ending that you thought it did"

"well, what ending did it have?"

"you'll just have to read it and see" he said as he took out a piece of paper and put it on the small coffee table. "I love you Stephanie, and don't you ever forget that" he said before opening the door and walking away.

I rushed over to the table and grabbed the piece of paper, I immediately grabbed my laptop and logged in with the information that he gave me. I expected to have to scroll for hours to find said email, but it seemed as if he cleared everything out and the only thing that was in his inbox was the email between him and Shawn.

_He wanted me to read it._ I thought to myself.

I clicked on the email and began to read their conversation from start to finish.

* * *

><p>Paul sighed softly as he opened the door to his car and got in, he sat there for a moment, a million emotions were running through his head. He just told the love of his life that he wanted to be with her, that she was all that ever mattered. He just hoped she felt the same. He wanted to get on the road and just go home and get some sleep to wrap his head around his hectic week. But something was keeping him from leaving, so he just decided to sit there and wait, he doesn't know what it was he was waiting on,but he was going to do it.<p>

"I just want you to know the truth Stephanie" he said softly to himself. "I just want you to know the truth"

* * *

><p>I was just about in tears as I finished reading the email. I was wrong this whole time, he didn't want her, he wanted <em><strong>me<strong>_. I remember reading the email the first time and seeing Shawn ask Paul who he could see himself spending the rest of his life with. I saw Darcy's name first and just panicked, I didn't even bother reading the rest, and I should have. It would have cleared up a lot of things for me, and we probably wouldn't be in this situation now, I thought as I read the last part over and over and over again.

_**Do you like her?**_

_**I love her Shawn but...**_

_**But what?**_

_**I don't think it's worth the risk, and I'm still in love with Darcy**_

_**Fuck Darcy, get over that bitch**_

_**It's easier said than done.**_

_**Well, who do you see yourself spending the rest of your life with, Stephanie or Darcy?**_

_**Darcy is the one I could see myself being with for only a few more years before we would finally split or something, ya know? But it's Stephanie, Shawn, It's Stephanie who I see as being my true soul mate. She's the one I can't live without, the one I need to to spend every waking moment with. If I ever lost her Shawn, I honestly have no idea what I'd do. You think me being in a slump without Darcy is bad? pfft, if Steph was to leave, you might as well just kill me.  
><strong>_

_**Then you need to tell her that.**_

_**I can't**_

_**Why?**_

_**I'm just afraid she won't feel the same way.**_

_**And if she does?**_

_**She doesn't**_

_**You'll never know until you ask and there's only one way to find out.**_

_**I guess you're right Shawn, I'm gonna ask her or at least try and talk to her about it. I can't promise it'll be today, today or even next month, but at some point I will.**_

_**I'll keep you to that.**_

_**Let's just hope I keep myself to it...**_

You have reached the end of this email.

"I gotta go get him" I said aloud as I shot up. I couldn't let Paul get away as I now knew the truth. I grabbed my coat and keys and I was headed for the door. I opened it and ran out towards my car but stopped when I saw Paul's car sitting in the parking lot. Now that I think of it, I never did hear a car crank.

I walked over slowly to the car and gently knocked on the window. Paul seemed to be in deep thoughts, so I knocked a little harder and it made him jump, he turned and looked at me. his facial expression was that of a happy, yet confused face. Happy to see me, but not understanding why I was there and quite frankly, I understood. I mean, I had just told the poor man to leave me alone and to give me some space, but yet, here I was all in his.

He opened the door and got out of the car, he said nothing as he shut the door and then turned to look at me again. It looked like he had a lot on his mind but he wanted to hear me speak and see what all was on my mind, because clearly I had to have a reason for being out here.

"I read it" I said softly as I looked down and wagged my leg back and forth as if I was in trouble. "over and over again"

He cleared his throat. "and what did you think?"

"That I was wrong" I said looking up at him. "That I was wrong about everything Paul, about you, about how you felt, about us. Just wrong" I said shaking my head.

"well all that matters now is that you know how I feel" he said grabbing my chin gently.

"yeah" I said softly

"And now, what does this mean...you know...for us?" he asked

"I don't know, Paul. It's just, so much has happened in the last...shit, two days!" I said looking around with open arms "and on top of that, dealing with heartbreak for years because I knew I could never have you because of her, and then on top of that, us fighting and stuff then me finding out that you've loved me all along. It's just.. it's just a lot Paul" I said putting my arms down "I mean, what if we get together? every time we fight are you going to ignore me and treat me the way you did? are we never going to talk about it? are we..." I was interrupted by his lips landing on mine. I moaned softly as his tongue invaded my mouth and brushed gently across my own. It was just something about this kiss, something that let me know that no matter what, he'd always be there for me, through thick and thin. I know that's a lot to gather from a simple kiss, but no one realizes the passion, the hurt, the emotion behind it from both sides. No one has ever felt what we are feeling, or at least what I am right now. This is right...this is so right.

He finally pulled back and looked me in the eyes, while one hand was still holding my chin, the other pulled me closer to him as he then wrapped his arm around my waist. "First of all, I will **never**, ever ignore you. Second, we will **never** fight, and if we do, I **promise** you I will make up with you the day of as I cannot imagine going a whole day without talking to or looking at you. And thirdly, I promise to _**always**_ love you, no matter what. I will never give you a reason to not trust me and I will never take advantage of the trust you already have for me."

I couldn't help but smile like a damn fool and cry at the same time. "Paul" I said pausing as I looked into his eyes. "Do you really mean that?"

"Of course I do, baby I love you more than life itself and i'm willing to do anything to prove it to you"

"Paul, thats the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me"

"that's because i'm not just anyone, i'm your man and i'm here to stay"

Before I could say anything, huge drops of rain came crashing down on us, and in a matter of seconds we were soaked, but it didn't matter because I heard the one thing I've been wanting to hear my whole life, and that was that my man loved me and was here to stay.

"Ya know" he said as he locked his arms behind his back and held his head down as he wagged his leg back and forth like I was earlier. "I've never been kissed in the rain by a girl before" he said in a super nerdy voice with a slight snort at the end.

I couldn't help but burst out into laughter as I slapped his chest. "Kiss me you fool" I said as I pulled him close.

"hehe, sure thing" he said again in the nerdy voice before he turned serious and looked me in my eyes before cupping my face with both his hands. He stared me in the eyes for a few moments before slowly lowering his head and finally, his lips reached mine.

I moaned softly in his mouth as I wrapped my arms around his neck and thought to myself how this just felt so right, like it was meant to be, how it should have been all along. But those thoughts soon left my mind as I stood here in the rain, passionately kissing my man.

* * *

><p>I don't really see a point in dragging out this story, eh, a few more chapters, give or take 3-4 and that should just about do it. I don't wanna go overboard with it like I did with <strong>Trophy Wife<strong> and **My Savior**, that's why they haven't been updated yet because I have no idea what to say anymore. I like this story, and I don't wanna ruin it and end it hating it because I **hate** TW and MS lol.

**Leave Reviews! :)**

**P.S. I've already started writing 2 of the possible 3-4 chapters lol. :) I do too much, I need a break haha.**


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